Where I’m At in Life (Part Two)
It’s been almost seven years since I wrote an update on Where I’m At in Life. In it, I discussed all of the reasons any of the books I had written were nowhere to be found. It’s funny for me to look at that and see “one written and three in the works,” when now it’s basically eight manuscripts that are all saying, “So, who’s first? Any of us? No? We’re just going to sit here on your computer forever?”
It seems so.
I would like, however, for that not to be so.
You see, life really does get in the way of things sometimes. You go to work, maybe at a job you like or don’t, and it seems like the days just start passing you by. In fact, one of the books I’ve written actually zooms in on this idea and the character feels like their life is gone in a blink.
There are times when I feel the same.
One of those is looking back on time stamps, particularly for posts like the above-mentioned “Where I’m At in Life” from seven years ago talking about how I was revising a book that I’ve now published nine years ago and how that revision was supposed to be out later in the same year.
So What Happened?
I got in my head, first and foremost.
Look, I have a lot of… I don’t want to say trauma, but publishing a book before it was ready really taught me a lot about the importance of having an author career. All authors are going to grow, and most authors are going to look back on their earlier works and cringe.
The thing is, even if they cringe, most of them are at least still proud of the work they’ve done.
When it came to Immortality Awaits, that was not so for me. You can feel free to check out my entire vlog experience below for more details on that:
The other thing holding me back is the fact that I now have so many books that I’ve either written or am working on.
My Writing Process
When it comes to me writing a book, it usually goes something a little like this:
I have an idea, or I create one.
I either plot it out before I start or I pants what comes to me and hit a snag. From there, I either wait until I’m ready to pants the rest or I actually plot out what I’m going to do.
I finish the first draft and celebrate.
I give the draft some time then go back for a once-over.
I give the manuscript around 3-5 once-overs before I start asking for other opinions.
I get those opinions back and take them to heart
I make a little change here or there
I sit on the manuscript.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I don’t pitch it to agents or editors or publishers, I don’t self-publish, and usually, I just start working on something else because I get stressed out.
It’s really not my favorite thing.
A big issue also comes down to funds — I’d really like to pay an editor to go through something with me, but I lack the funds to do so. I don’t pitch my work because I don’t think it’s ready, and that stops me.
On the flip side of that coin, I have a few friends who work with literary agents or publishers who tell me I should submit, even though it’s not completely done. Many of my manuscripts are “done enough” and would probably get accepted as they are before the in-house edits would have to come through anyway.
I’m just scared.
There’s really no other way to say that, if I’m honest.
I don’t want to be embarrassed about the work I put out again. Sometimes looking back on blog posts and articles is hard enough. I feel legitimate guilt at the people who read my original novel, even though many people liked it a lot more than I did.
So here we are, almost done with 20-freaking-23. I finished the first draft of my first manuscript in March of 2008. Took place in NaNoWriMo for the first time in 2012. Self-published my first book in 2014. Went through a dark night of the soul and disappeared to another country for a year and traveled for another six months after that just to get myself to be where I wanted, and it’s already been almost a decade since that.
And in a lot of ways, I’m still nowhere near where i want to be.
To be fair, in a lot of ways I also am.
Another major aspect of my novels getting put to the side is also the fact that I write professionally now, and that just takes up a lot of my time. It also takes up a lot of my mental energy and thought space, so when I’m finished with my day, the last thing I want to do is keep looking at words.
But I’m trying to be better.
I’ve recently finished a pretty massive overhaul of this website. I transferred it from WordPress to Squarespace, then did the same for the travel blog that used to be hosted at Life in Another World and the writing tips blog that used to be hosted at Get Write On In.
Now that everything is under the same roof here, I’m hoping some things will change.
Additionally, due to the outlets that I write for, I’m able to start talking to some more notable people in the industry.
Through that, I’ve had more people reaching out to me for various things. Some work for me, some don’t. The only reason I even mention any of it is because I’m hoping it leads to more doors opening for my career. That people won’t just ask me if I can “interview so and so for such and such publication,” but more along the lines of, “I see you also write books, make videos, and can actually do a lot in this industry — let’s talk.”
Also, Squarespace has some more convenient design aspects when it comes to blogging. WordPress basically only allows one blog that everything has to go under and you categorize it from there. Squarespace allows me to create a separate blogroll for each topic I have, which allows me to host everything I’m doing right here under this umbrella.
With that in mind, since I now have a blogroll for each one of my works in progress, I’m hoping to hold myself a little more accountable and at least write about my books here on the website. I’ll offer updates, perhaps some chapters here and there, and hopefully start to gain more interest in my works in progress.
Where to Next?
Firstly, I remain appreciative and grateful for all of the people who have continued to support me throughout my tumultuous life.
There are still people who have read Immortality Awaits who want to know when it’s coming back out again, as well as what happens with the rest of the story.
I promise you, the stories don’t leave me.
The characters are constantly in my mind berating me for leaving them alone. I’m always losing sleep about all of the time I’m wasting, but it also doesn’t really help me actually get through things because I still feel like I’m doing this all alone.
So stick with me here on the journey, my friends. I’m falling more in love with my stories, with my talents, and with myself with each passing day.
If there’s one piece of advice that’s incredibly true for me or any other writer, it is simply this:
Persistence pays off.
See you soon.
